Finding Wholeness: A Pastor's Coming Out Story

Dear Family and Friends,
This is a sacred moment. I am sharing with you my innermost being. Finally, after more than forty years of personal struggle, I can openly share with you that I am gay. While I am grateful to find such peace, it also comes with grief as my wife Beth and I are saddened to inform you that I have resigned as pastor of University Presbyterian Church, San Antonio, effective March 5, 2023.
I struggled immensely with this decision to resign as pastor. Yet, in conversations with Beth, my counselor, and trusted Mission Presbytery leadership, I realized that it is the best path forward for my wholeness and the congregation's vitality.
It is important for you to know that I am not resigning as pastor because I am gay. On the contrary, the Presbyterian Church (USA) and University Presbyterian Church are emphatic in welcoming and accepting all gender orientations and identities. Furthermore, the church's teachings affirm our right to live free from discrimination in any arena, including the church. Therefore, to any member or sojourner of our congregation who may be struggling with their sexuality, I want you to know that God is unwavering in love and acceptance of you. If you feel alone, know there is a place for you at University Presbyterian Church.
Belonging is essential. The liberty of LGBTQI+ people, especially our trans and nonbinary siblings, is under attack by Texas lawmakers. Yet, as Christians, we cannot be silent as our confessions and scripture demand that we stand with the wronged, as that is where God is to be found in works for justice and equality. Sharing our stories and the truth about who we are is powerful. It is this truth that will set us free as we are ordained for hope.
I pray that you will receive this letter with the same hope and courage it took for me to write it. I understand that the news of my resignation and the fullness of my identity may be difficult for some of you to accept. Yet, I ask you to release Beth and me of our service to you and your care for us. I am exhausted from inner turmoil, and Beth and I need time to cultivate wholeness. I know that you have faced painful transitions in the past and have the strength and resiliency to meet this challenge.
I am immensely thankful for my time with you. You are the people who are ushering me into my God-given identity. Fifty-two years ago, through baptism, the Ceresvallei congregation of the Dutch Reformed Church in South Africa affirmed me as a child of God, and you, as a part of the Body of Christ, stayed faithful to their promises in caring for and guiding me.
Thank you for the sacred privilege of being your pastor these past five years. It has been humbling and fulfilling to officiate at memorial services, lead authentic worship, preside over baptisms and communion, and be there with you in times of joy and sorrow. It has been exhilarating to guide a growing congregation in spirituality, membership, and vitality as we cultivate our denomination's Matthew 25 vision together. I am thankful to each of you who have accepted me for who I am and loved me without condition. I am grateful to siblings with whom I have had strained relationships, as you have been my teachers and helped me realize the importance of being true to oneself.
With loving and grateful memories, and as always,
Mooi Loop,
Andries